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Andrew Printer's avatar

I have just posted a question about tone/style in the comment section of last week's lesson. I am writing what might be a memoir, but also blog/essays here on my Substack page. I find myself writing in what seems to be a colloquial, conversational, non-flowery way. I am pretty sure I have internalized the efficiency of rap lyrics and how screenplays are written. Sometimes I can get too sing-songy. I like one-word paragraphs and variations in sentence length. It seems like I have adopted elements of sound, rhythm, balance, etc that are being discussed this week (without knowing it). Here are two short sections of Substack blog My Bruised Resume, as an example:

"I've spent most of my time on Earth in my head. I use my eyes and ears more than my mouth by a factor of ten. And by the grace of good sense and good genes, I've made it to the raggedy end of this mortal coil, way over here, on the far right of most graphs."

and...

"Why Substack now?

Honestly, too much has been too hot to handle for a very long time, and reacting is distracting. Plus, patterns only reveal themselves after mistake number three.

I know you know what I mean.

Do you remember that cute high school crush who hurt your feelings? Your asshole first husband? The second divorce that ruined you alive?

"Done!" you exclaimed. Only to realize it was you all along.

Lesson learned. And boy, do they pile up."

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Daniela Clemens's avatar

This is an excellent conversation starter! I have one novel that is about a young woman leaving a fundamentalist church. All of the characters are working class and either midwestern or southern so that one feels (one hopes) salt-of-the-earth and plain spoken and a little funny. My other novel, which is undergoing a monster rewrite, is a speculative fiction story set on a parallel but basically-identical-to-earth planet. Very urban, except for a defunct monastery and castle-turned-prison on a nearby island. It's a class war story, with a group of artists who are looking for a crack in the system, and an elite ruling class which uses their private business language to keep the castes in place.

I wanted it to have fun genre elements, an old code, subtle mystical power, embezzlement, galas and a prison break, but wanted those things to be told in a gritty, realistic way. So there are a fair number of factories and industrial details, all of it soaked in rain. Best time ever.

I'm on my fifth revision and it has changed quite a lot. It had good bones before but was a sprawling mess. I think this rewrite has a much more consistent tone. At first I tended to have sections that sounded a little too formal and distant, and then sections that were a lot more earthy, and neither was done in an intentional way. I stopped in the middle to write the other novel, and the two years spent on a literary fiction book definitely improved my ability to understand character but also how to notice pacing and tone.

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