First, an unrevised poem I wrote in the workshop, and then my attempt to figure out the logic.
How to August
Anticipate the state fair with lashings of almond extract and a pocketful of quarters, jingling. Dust off your childhood photos and tweeze only one from the box. It will remind you how to dress, how to smile, whether to curl your hair. Do not trip over the champagne corks you’ve launched from dark green bottles over the past two weeks. There’s one: behind the swine you let in last winter who loves carousing. The state fair will be just the place for him, his spots twinkling like a thrift shop Santa. It’s late summer, the zucchini are huge, and it’s time for strapping on your pink high heels.
State fair – suggests food competition and carnival games, so almond extract and quarters – reminds me of childhood which is now only photos – photos are about posing, so dress, smile, hair – Not sure how drinking a lot of champagne in the past two weeks follows from posing for a photo, but then the poem returns to the swine show at the state fair – thrift shop Santa another childhood marvel like carnival games – zucchini both at the fair vegetable display and defines a specific time of year – pink high heels seems to relate more to champagne, but both of those depart from the state fair. I think my flow chart is more about the flow of images and less about logic.
loving this tips from the penultimate lesson. practicing reading my poems aloud has been a game changer for me & whenever i'm feeling stale or uninspired i challenge myself to try new forms to push myself out of my familiar comfort zone.
Years of marriage and nothing surprised us between the phone banking and the marching what else could we do we sent what we could we used our socials we posted we went hoarse with slogans afraid we would never be heard even in large groups even with megaphones the billy clubs and the horses' hooves scared our skulls even in bike helmets where we worried something would be wrenched apart and registered bombs and tents in flames and knew it could be worse we felt ourselves lucky and alive which is why the kiss was so explosive so unexpected and bright because there was nothing but the fighting and time and the anger we shared even the jagged spikes of hatred we discussed over reheated dinners the idea that these uniformed soldiers this militarized force of locals stood for the killers there cashing the same paychecks the ones yanking out plugs from the walls to still incubators the ones swooping over the walls of hospitals crashing down slumped and crushed by these heartless bastards what we thought what we yelled and got slapped for - I did and saw stars - felt the heat of that contact unexpected my jaw feeling flung your lips the closest thing to glue to a sling to a bandage and a softening a way to catch my breath to breathe with you to believe with you covering me like you will when they come for us when we go limp together and make them drag us how we'll search each other for our eyes how we'll try to stay close with our rip-corded wrists reaching to remember your mouth's red heat that assigned the healing thought between us that we could still make a difference
a run on sentence that i couldn't get enough of! great use of language to tie together related but unexpected imagery and when you get the pause of seeing stars as a reading i already FELT that feeling with the progression & flow you created. lovely work & a pleasure to read
Thank you so much for such enthusiasm! I might still punctuate or lineate it, haven't decided, but it doesn't feel as strange as surrealism wants it to feel, but it's a start.
Years of marriage & nothing surprised us between phone banking & marching we sent what we could used our socials to post & went hoarse with slogans afraid we'd never be heard bought megaphones & painted signs to shield against billy clubs & horse hooves wore bike helmets combat boots locked arms but they wrenched us apart insisted we hid bombs torched our tent lucky to get out alive why the kiss exploded unexpected & bright after nothing but the assembling of sandwiches flyering chanting nursing our angers no time for babies beside those jagged spikes of hatred to keep us warm on benches over sterno'd frozen dinners we had principles & uniformed soldiers this militarized force of locals trained by the same cold killers cashing the same paychecks as those yanking plugs from walls to kill incubators in Gaza swooping over hospitals to flatten all we yelled at the heartless bastards & got slapped - I saw stars - felt the heat of that contact fling my jaw toward your lips the closest thing to glue to a sling as a bandage of soft gauze a way to catch my breath to stop the sting to breathe with you believe with you covering me like you will when they come for us when we'll go limp together make them drag us how we'll search each other's eyes try to stay close reaching our rip-corded wrists toward the red heat a flash of history our lips like patrol car lights a moment that assigned the healing thought between us that we could make a difference choose to resist
First, an unrevised poem I wrote in the workshop, and then my attempt to figure out the logic.
How to August
Anticipate the state fair with lashings of almond extract and a pocketful of quarters, jingling. Dust off your childhood photos and tweeze only one from the box. It will remind you how to dress, how to smile, whether to curl your hair. Do not trip over the champagne corks you’ve launched from dark green bottles over the past two weeks. There’s one: behind the swine you let in last winter who loves carousing. The state fair will be just the place for him, his spots twinkling like a thrift shop Santa. It’s late summer, the zucchini are huge, and it’s time for strapping on your pink high heels.
State fair – suggests food competition and carnival games, so almond extract and quarters – reminds me of childhood which is now only photos – photos are about posing, so dress, smile, hair – Not sure how drinking a lot of champagne in the past two weeks follows from posing for a photo, but then the poem returns to the swine show at the state fair – thrift shop Santa another childhood marvel like carnival games – zucchini both at the fair vegetable display and defines a specific time of year – pink high heels seems to relate more to champagne, but both of those depart from the state fair. I think my flow chart is more about the flow of images and less about logic.
I really enjoyed this session. Learned a lot. Thanks.
The flowers on the stoop wave a flag of frantic jibber jabber, while
loud little voices within punctuate the space fiercely.
The door unsticks itself.
I fall into the room.
The parents bare their teeth, smiling.
Daggers zip around the room, shredding.
The two little ones scream
a bullet at me flying.
There, on the wall, hangs a hodge hodge, moments of mad driven meanings, lopsided and leaning.
Are you Ok, the mother says to the father, now screaming.
I throw myself at the brick wall,
run through the glass window
and leave, without a trace
weeping.
loving this tips from the penultimate lesson. practicing reading my poems aloud has been a game changer for me & whenever i'm feeling stale or uninspired i challenge myself to try new forms to push myself out of my familiar comfort zone.
So glad to hear this, JP!
Okay, here goes...
The Kiss
Years of marriage and nothing surprised us between the phone banking and the marching what else could we do we sent what we could we used our socials we posted we went hoarse with slogans afraid we would never be heard even in large groups even with megaphones the billy clubs and the horses' hooves scared our skulls even in bike helmets where we worried something would be wrenched apart and registered bombs and tents in flames and knew it could be worse we felt ourselves lucky and alive which is why the kiss was so explosive so unexpected and bright because there was nothing but the fighting and time and the anger we shared even the jagged spikes of hatred we discussed over reheated dinners the idea that these uniformed soldiers this militarized force of locals stood for the killers there cashing the same paychecks the ones yanking out plugs from the walls to still incubators the ones swooping over the walls of hospitals crashing down slumped and crushed by these heartless bastards what we thought what we yelled and got slapped for - I did and saw stars - felt the heat of that contact unexpected my jaw feeling flung your lips the closest thing to glue to a sling to a bandage and a softening a way to catch my breath to breathe with you to believe with you covering me like you will when they come for us when we go limp together and make them drag us how we'll search each other for our eyes how we'll try to stay close with our rip-corded wrists reaching to remember your mouth's red heat that assigned the healing thought between us that we could still make a difference
a run on sentence that i couldn't get enough of! great use of language to tie together related but unexpected imagery and when you get the pause of seeing stars as a reading i already FELT that feeling with the progression & flow you created. lovely work & a pleasure to read
Thank you so much for such enthusiasm! I might still punctuate or lineate it, haven't decided, but it doesn't feel as strange as surrealism wants it to feel, but it's a start.
I’d urge you to try liberating this, Emma, and remove anything that doesn’t seem absolutely strong and then change it back to prose, if you will.
This is what happened...
Irresistible Kiss
Years of marriage & nothing surprised us between phone banking & marching we sent what we could used our socials to post & went hoarse with slogans afraid we'd never be heard bought megaphones & painted signs to shield against billy clubs & horse hooves wore bike helmets combat boots locked arms but they wrenched us apart insisted we hid bombs torched our tent lucky to get out alive why the kiss exploded unexpected & bright after nothing but the assembling of sandwiches flyering chanting nursing our angers no time for babies beside those jagged spikes of hatred to keep us warm on benches over sterno'd frozen dinners we had principles & uniformed soldiers this militarized force of locals trained by the same cold killers cashing the same paychecks as those yanking plugs from walls to kill incubators in Gaza swooping over hospitals to flatten all we yelled at the heartless bastards & got slapped - I saw stars - felt the heat of that contact fling my jaw toward your lips the closest thing to glue to a sling as a bandage of soft gauze a way to catch my breath to stop the sting to breathe with you believe with you covering me like you will when they come for us when we'll go limp together make them drag us how we'll search each other's eyes try to stay close reaching our rip-corded wrists toward the red heat a flash of history our lips like patrol car lights a moment that assigned the healing thought between us that we could make a difference choose to resist
I will. Thank you!