‘But the choices about which changes to make and which to decline were so, so much easier to make at this stage—once the book was written and revised and I’d wrestled with my own craft and ethical concerns first, without anyone looking over my shoulder.’
This last past I find is so true, not just for questions about memoir writing but with any shifts in identity or calls to come out of our comfort zones. We must first reconcile things in our mind l before we can have to confidence to
Lilly, can you lead a beta-read feedback group in relation to this? I have a fictionalized memoir (or vicea versa) that I'd love feedback on as to whether the characters are dimensional and not villians, etc.
This made me smile—such a warm, slightly mischievous guide to a very tricky topic. You manage to say: yes, writing about real people is complicated… but also kind of inevitable (and a little bit dangerous 😄).
Before I started writing my first more serious novel—which also includes real people—I began with myself. I write about this in my blogs too, because if I end up offending myself… well, the worst that can happen is I stop talking to myself.
It feels honest and human—like you’re giving permission to write bravely, without pretending it’s easy or clean. Thanks a lot.
This was right on time for me. I had been worried about asking people I wrote about in a personal essay, even though I don't think I wrote anything that would portray them in a bad light. They were part of my experience. Now I am waiting to hear from them. When you know people it may feel even more daunting to share your work, than to send it out to a magazine, whose editors you may not know. I have one more person to contact, and they are extremely private, but then, who knows.
Good timing on this, I've lost touch with the people I'm writing about now, but I do sometimes wonder what they would think of it all, what their side of the story would sound like.
Lilly, I so appreciate this piece you've shared with us. It validates the fumbly way I've addressed this topic by instinct while adding specific directions and nuances that'll make my process better. I couldn't ask for more.
Thank you for an amazing workshop.
‘But the choices about which changes to make and which to decline were so, so much easier to make at this stage—once the book was written and revised and I’d wrestled with my own craft and ethical concerns first, without anyone looking over my shoulder.’
This last past I find is so true, not just for questions about memoir writing but with any shifts in identity or calls to come out of our comfort zones. We must first reconcile things in our mind l before we can have to confidence to
defend ourselves (and our writing) before others.
Yes! 100%
Lilly, can you lead a beta-read feedback group in relation to this? I have a fictionalized memoir (or vicea versa) that I'd love feedback on as to whether the characters are dimensional and not villians, etc.
I do have a class on this topic! It's not workshop/feedback-oriented, but might still be useful: https://www.lillydancyger.com/shared-stories
This made me smile—such a warm, slightly mischievous guide to a very tricky topic. You manage to say: yes, writing about real people is complicated… but also kind of inevitable (and a little bit dangerous 😄).
Before I started writing my first more serious novel—which also includes real people—I began with myself. I write about this in my blogs too, because if I end up offending myself… well, the worst that can happen is I stop talking to myself.
It feels honest and human—like you’re giving permission to write bravely, without pretending it’s easy or clean. Thanks a lot.
Thank you so much! Yes, live a little dangerously lol
This was right on time for me. I had been worried about asking people I wrote about in a personal essay, even though I don't think I wrote anything that would portray them in a bad light. They were part of my experience. Now I am waiting to hear from them. When you know people it may feel even more daunting to share your work, than to send it out to a magazine, whose editors you may not know. I have one more person to contact, and they are extremely private, but then, who knows.
Totally, I find it much more nerve-wracking to think about people I know reading my work than strangers!
Good timing on this, I've lost touch with the people I'm writing about now, but I do sometimes wonder what they would think of it all, what their side of the story would sound like.
Lilly, I so appreciate this piece you've shared with us. It validates the fumbly way I've addressed this topic by instinct while adding specific directions and nuances that'll make my process better. I couldn't ask for more.
Thank you/I'm so glad!